I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
