and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
