get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
