i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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