I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I faked an abortion last night.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
