Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
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