Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize