It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
