the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
