You're my little dorito
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
