You can't motorboat a personality
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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