Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
