I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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