Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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