I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
