Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
