Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
