Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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