i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
