The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
