alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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