drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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