I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
