you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
