News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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