I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I have post one night stand depression
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
