420 ftw
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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