sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
