ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
