Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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