Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I puked a lego.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
