He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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