today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
