he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize