i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
