pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He passed out mid-signature
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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