at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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