So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need to calm my uterus...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
