sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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