this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
