If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
worst night to have a conscience
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
