That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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