Me too!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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