The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
