Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You took a bar mat shot.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize