It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
