Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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