this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
