If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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