Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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