like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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