i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Couch. On fire.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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