some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
