every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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