I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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