So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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