no you cant smoke seaweed
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
