i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
