Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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