sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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