To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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