That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
only if we run a train.
done.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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